Month: June 2016

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Jimi Hendrix

Biographical Overview

If ever there was a guitar player who redefined this instrument for anyone who has ever played it before or since, it would be Jimi Hendrix. Jimi's exceptionally creative, powerful, psychedelic licks helped him reach a musical standard that has never been duplicated, and in his four short years as a recording star he established himself as a musical legend without equal. His performances at the Monterrey Pop Festival which established him as a star, and later at Woodstock were some of the most awe-inspiring in the history of live music, and history will remember Jimi Hendrix as one of the most influential albeit enigmatic and mysterious musicians who ever graced the stage.

Jimi Hendrix was born John Allen Hendrix on November 29, 1942 to James (Al) Hendrix and Lucille Jeter in Seattle, Washington. Jimmy's father Al, who would be his primary parental force throughout Jimi's life, was in the Army when Jimi was born. Fearing that Al would go AWOL to go see his newborn son, the army placed Al in the stockade on "general principle" where he stayed for over a month until the army saw fit to release him.

Back in Seattle Jimi's mother Lucille quickly grew tired of being a single parent and virtually abandoned Jimi during his first few years of life. Jimi, then known as Johnny, first lived with Lucille's family, but was then placed with a woman named Mrs. Walls who took Johnny in and cared for him.

Al was finally released from the Army in 1945 when Jimi was three years old. Upon arriving back in the United States, Al regained custody of Johnny and promptly named him James after himself. Originally Jimi was known as "Buster" by his family, but at the age of 6 everyone began calling young James "Jimi" which would stick with him for the rest of his short life. Between the ages of 3 and 6 Al raised Jimi with the assistance of Lucille's Sister Dolores, and Jimi became very close to her children who were being raised in the same home.

When Jimi was 6, his mother briefly came back into Jimi's life when Al and Lucille attempted a reconciliation. Because there was little work in Seattle at the time, Al joined the Merchant Marines, and while he was away Lucille returned to her old carefree lifestyle, and was kicked out of the housing the Hendrix's were residing in for having inappropriate male visitors. Upon his return from the Merchant Marines, Al and the family reunited, and Lucille eventually had another son Leon in 1948, who had Asian features and was clearly not Al Hendrix's son. Lucille eventually had another son Joey by still a different father, and Al eventually divorced Lucille in 1950 as a result of her lack of stability.

Over the next few years Al raised Jimi and Leon with the help of his relatives, and Jimi briefly had another maternal figure "Edna" enter his life, who he grew close to but who was eventually forced to leave the Hendrix home to make room for other relatives. Lucille popped in and out of Jimi's life during his formative years, and would make extravagant promises to Jimi that she would not follow through on. On February 2, 1958, following many years of hard drinking and frivolity, Lucille passed away at the age of 32 which deeply saddened Jimi.

In his teen years Al Hendrix bought Jimi his first electric guitar which Jimi became so attached to that he slept with it on a nightly basis. Jimi was eventually recruited by a man named James Thomas, and Jimi then became a member of James Thomas and the Tomcats. During this same time frame, Jimi, who had grown disinterested in school, dropped out of Garfield High, and also got in trouble for being in a stolen car. Jimi eventually joined the Army during this period, and decided he wanted to be a paratrooper in the Screaming Eagles like his father before him.

Jimi met Billy Cox while in the Army and the two of them had a great deal in common including musical tastes. While in the army they begin to play a little together, and they formed a friendship and partnership that would later be rekindled when Jimi formed the band Band Of Gypsies.

Following his stint in the Army, Jimi moved down south and began playing the "Chitlin" circuit where he used the stage names "Maurice James" and "Jimmie James" and had some success as a guitar player. Jimi would even play backup on a Supremes record, and in 1964 he played with the Isley Brothers who were also very popular at the time. It was during this period when Jimi met Little Richard, who was a bit of a narcissist, and felt that Jimi's guitar playing upstaged him and took the focus off him which he felt was a necessary component of the act.

Jimi eventually split with Little Richard and moved to New York City where he at first had little success. After spending some time in Harlem, Jimi settled into the Greenwich Village neighborhood, where he formed a new band called Jimmy James and the Blue Flames. Jimi's unique improvisational style alienated a number of his fans, while others thought they were witnessing the birth of a genius. One of these people was Chas Chandler, who formerly played base for a band called the Animals who knew when he saw Jimi that he had discovered an amazing new talent. Chas convinced Jimi that he would have more success in England than in the United States, and in 1966 Jimi packed his bags and left the US to live in London.

While in London Jimi met Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding, and the three of them formed the band The Jimi Hendrix Experience and begin touring around England. Jimi dazzled the English crowd, who were alternately shocked and amazed by Jimi, and he was described in the English papers as "The Wild Man of Borneo" which was a kind of racial slur against Jimi's heritage. The group was very successful, and their first album Are You Experienced produced the songs Hey Joe and Purple Haze which were both big hits on the English rock charts.

Jimi's breakthrough performance came upon his return to the Unites States at the Monterrey Pop Festival where his use of distortion and feedback on the guitar helped him create a sound previously unheard by American audiences. With the crowd already in a frenzy over his performance, Jimi set his guitar on fire at the end of his set, which further electrified the crowd and created a buzz about Jimi Hendrix that would propel him to the top of the music world.

One important ally Jimi made during this time was Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones, who introduced Jimi at Monterrey and was one of Jim's first important fans in the world of music. Following his performance at Monterrey, Brian introduced to Jimi to a lot of important people in California, which culminated in The Jimi Hendrix Experience being signed to go on tour with the Monkees who were one of the top drawing bands in the world at this time.

Jimi's wild style and sexually explicit actions on stage were not well suited to the Monkees crowd, and soon this tour dissolved and The Jimi Hendrix Experience began touring on their own. Over the next two years the band became hugely successful, and in addition to Hey Joe and Purple Haze, produced songs such as Castles Made of Sand, and Bob Dylan's All Along the Watchtower, which were all big hits for the band. The band eventually produced three hit albums, Are You Experienced, Axis: Bold as Love, and Electric Ladyland which all were huge successes. The band was not without its difficulties however, as Jimi and Noel Redding had difficulties agreeing on several issues related to the band, and in the summer of 1969 the band broke up despite the fact that they were at the peak of their commercial success.

Some speculated that Jimi broke up The Jimi Hendrix Experience because both of his bandmates were white, and that he was receiving pressure from the Black Panthers to make a statement about Black solidarity. Although Jimi did have an association with the Panthers in the 1960's, he used the standard "creative differences" approach to explain the band's breakup. But in any case it was apparent that he was hurt by all of the negative press he received following this incident.

Following the breakup of The Jimi Hendrix Experience Jimi began heavily using drugs, and a major turning point came in his life when he was arrested on May 3, 1969 at the Toronto airport for possession of Heroin and Marijuana. Jimi adamantly claimed the drugs were not his, but was rightfully disturbed at the prospect of facing seven years in prison, and thought a great deal about his legacy following his arrest. Jimi was eventually cleared of these charges, but still faced a great deal of inner turmoil as a result of this experience.

In the summer of that year, Jimi put together a group of musicians to play with him at Woodstock, and his performance there was one that helped cement his legend as one of the truly inspired live performers in the history of music. His Star-Spangled Banner on guitar was a huge hit with the fans, and would later become one of the featured scenes in the Woodstock film recordings that were produced at the festival. Later that year Jimi would also play at England's answer to Woodstock, called The Isle of White Festival, where he also dazzled and amazed his English fans, many of who had been with him from the beginning.

At the end of his life, Jimi reunited with his old army buddy Billy Cox, and they formed the Band of Gypsies, which would be Jimi's final group. This group had some success, but Jimi was beginning to become fatigued from years of working almost constantly, his continuing drug use, and the anxiety he felt arising from battles with his management, and earnings in the millions that he could not account for.

In September of that year, as the group was touring Europe, Jimi Hendrix was found dead on his hotel room floor as a result of an overdose of sleeping pills that caused him to choke on his own vomit. Jimi's death was highly controversial however, as some claim he was mishandled by paramedics which caused him to eventually suffocate on the way to the hospital. Jimi's death has been thoroughly investigated and researched, and despite all of the claims, a coroner's report confirms that Jimi had been dead for some time when he was eventually found on the morning of September 18th.

The legacy of Jimi Hendrix endures, and many still consider him to be the most unique guitar player that ever lived. His estate has made millions of dollars following his death, most of which was originally hidden from his father by unscrupulous managers of Jimi's affairs. Al Hendrix and his family eventually won back Jimi's legacy with the help of Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, and Allen would eventually go on to build a Jimi Hendrix museum called the Experience Music project, which is a major tourist attraction in Seattle Washington.
Analysis
Gender Role Preparation perceived through Gender Guiding Lines and Role Models

Though his interactions with his father, Jimi learned the values ​​of hard work and perseverance that would guide him throughout his life and career. Although Jimi was occasionally portrayed as a spaced-out wild man under the influence of LSD, he was in fact an extremely hard worker who produced an amazing amount of material in his short career.

Jimi's father also instilled in Jimi the value of perseverance. Through all of his struggles with his wife Lucille, job difficulties, prejudice, etc, Al Hendrix continued to soldier on and raise his boy Jimi, and this lesson was not lost on his young son. This value of perseverance was so strong in Jimi that he practiced his guitar so often and so much that he eventually became a virtuoso. With no ability to read music and no real training, Jimi still managed to teach himself to play the guitar with his right hand despite the fact that he was born left-handed. All of these obstacles must have made the guitar very difficult for Jimi to learn, but through watching his father Jimi learned a man never gives up, and he therefore continued to work tirelessly at learning to play his guitar.

Jimi's female gender guiding line was much more complex. Although Jimi loved his mother, she disappeared often in his life, and Jimi was well aware of her infidelities towards his father. Later in his life Jimi's interactions with women appeared to be unstable, and his fear of commitment with women may very well have arisen from watching his mother's irresponsible behavior.

Jimi's mistrust of women is interesting to consider with regard to one of the women he was the closest to named Devon Wilson. Devon was a former prostitute, heavy drug user, and party girl who had also been romantically linked to Mick Jagger during the late 1960's. Devon lived with Jimi at his New Your apartment, handled many of Jimi's affairs, and was even the subject of one of Jimi's songs called Dolly Dagger. Like Jimi's mother Lucille, Devon would often disappear for days at a time and then come back when she was done with her extended binge. The fact that, despite Jimi's access to so many women, he trusted a clearly irresponsible woman like Devon Wilson to get closest to him, seems to suggest that he may have chosen her because her behavior was so much like his mother's growing up.
Interpersonal Style perceived through Experience of Family Atmosphere

On the subject of Jimi's mother, she and Al fought often while Jimi was growing up, and the Hendrix household was often filled with storm and strife when Lucille was around. Watching his mother and father fight so often appeared to affect Jimi's own relationships with women, as he was on several occasions verbally and even physically violent with women during periods of confrontation.

Jimi also lived in a number of different homes and places growing up, and in this capacity learned not to get too close to people as they may abandon you at any time. One poignant story Jimi himself related involved meeting his father for the first time at the age of three and taking the train from Berkeley to Seattle. Jimi recalled how much he wanted to return to the only "family" he had ever really known, and how odd it was to be taken on a train by some strange man he had never met. This sense of instability was reinforced often throughout Jimi's life, as a number of people would be significant in his life for a couple of years and then simply disappear, and this appears to have affected Jimi's ability to trust and get close to people.

Because Jimi was unable to achieve a sense of stability, he developed a shy and introverted personality that caused him a great deal of loneliness. Jimi dealt with painful feelings through artistic expression, and the ultimate capacity of his talent may have been a reflection of the intensity of his painful feelings.
Personal Code of Conduct Perceived through Acceptance / Rejection of Family Values

The family values ​​in the Hendrix household involved obedience to authority and a healthy respect for one's elders, and although Jimi had respect for his father, he came to distrust authority in his own life. There are many different versions of Jimi's life with Al Hendrix, many of which paint a picture of a very unhappy home life where Al constantly reminded his children of the sacrifices he had to make for his children. In Al's own autobiography My Son Jimmy (1999) he talked about how Jimi used to escape responsibility for his actions by blaming misdeeds on an imaginary friend named "Sessy" who Jimmy would evoke when he felt he had disappointed Al. It certainly must have been difficult for Al to raise Jimi by himself, and given the economic climate in Seattle at that time, there's no doubt that Al must have had to make some great sacrifices for Jimi. Perhaps Jimi's creation of an imaginary friend was a psychological defense against Al's disappointment, which seemed to be yet another factor in Jimi's unhappy childhood.

Another family value that Jimi seemed to reject concerned the family's views on religion. Although Jimi was raised by a church-going family who believed in worship, Jimi came to believe that his music was a form of great spiritual expression. Jimi rejected the stifling versions of Christianity he learned as a young man, and instead felt music was the way he could connect to the mystical and spiritual side of life.

Music also offered an escape for Jimi from his problems, and was certainly a positive adaptation for him to an unhappy childhood. Jimi often described how music would compose itself in his head, and his unparalleled talent in music may have been a result of this intense desire to escape his emotionally painful cognitions.
Perspective on the World perceived through Experience of Psychological Birth Order

As the first born son in the Hendrix household and the only son sired by his father Al, Jimi developed a sense that he was particularly special when he was a young man. Although Jimi's younger brother Leon spent a great deal of time with Jimi and his father growing up, he was also often shipped to another family during difficult times. The fact that Jimi was always the one that remained with his father must have made him feel like the "chosen" one much of the time, and he appeared to develop a sense that he was something special. This is not an uncommon reaction from a first born child, as they often receive more attention than their siblings do when they are born, as they become literally the center of their parent's universe.

For Jimi this situation did not unfold exactly like this, as his first three years were filled with a great deal of moving around that must have confused and frightened him at such a fragile age. The two women that adopted Jimi in these years both referred to his "specialness" however, so one can assume this was something he felt that was further reinforced when Al eventually came and got him following his release from the Army.

Jimi's biographers (Hendrix 1999) discuss how it was clear to Jimi that his younger brother Leon had a different father than him, and although Al certainly loved and cared for Leon, he must have felt some resentment from having to raise another man's child. Jimi therefore was the "favorite" growing up, and developed a sense of his own uniqueness that instilled in him a great deal of confidence in his abilities. This confidence was especially relevant in the early stages of Jimi's career, where audiences often disliked and were unable to understand his unique style of music. Although many artists would have become discouraged in this situation, Jimi was convinced of his own talent, and much of this resolve appears to have its roots in Jimi's early childhood experiences.
Self Assessment Perceived through Genetic Possibilities

Jimi Hendrix came from a talented family with a long history of performing in front of groups. Jimi's grandmother was an entertainer who traveled and worked as a singer and performer before her son Al was born, and even prior to this generation music was a strong part of the Hendrix tradition. Jimi's father Al and his uncle Leon both showed musical talent at a very young age, and both of them could play the piano, sing, and also dance at a young age, and often did so growing up. Jimi therefore appeared to have a predisposition to music that was inherited from the talented Hendrix family.

Jimi developed a stutter at a young age however, and was not confident as a singer and a dancer like the rest of his family. Therefore when Jimi did find a musical instrument to play, it appears that he compensated for his stutter by practicing a great deal on the guitar in an attempt to belong with his otherwise musical family.

Jimi also felt a strong identification with his family's Cherokee heritage. The extent of Jimi's Indian blood has been misrepresented often in several biographies that mention the subject. Jimi's father Al (Hendrix 1999) eventually clarified that Jimi's great grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee, but Jimi did feel a strong identification with this portion of his ancestry. Al Hendrix explained that when Jimi and the other children played games like Cowboys and Indians when Jimi was a kid, Jimi always wanted to be the Indian as it helped link him with a part of his Heritage. Jimi created a great deal of art as a child that depicted the Indians conquering the cavalry, and he even discussed later as an adult how he felt a sense of power that came from his Indian blood.

In considering this idea it is fascinating to examine the lyrics from one of Jimi's big hits, Castles Made of Sand-

"A little Indian brave who before he was ten, played war games in The woods with his Indian friends, and he built a dream that when he Grew up, he would be a fearless warrior Indian Chief. Many moons passed and more the dream grew strong, until tomorrow He would sing his first war song,
And fight his first battle, but something went wrong,
Surprise attack killed him in his sleep that night "

Reading the lyrics to this song which Jimi wrote, one can not help but wonder how much it reflected both Jimi's dreams as well as his disappointments. In many ways this song demonstrated the conditions of Jimi's life, as, despite having "conquered" the music world, he still was very anxious about his life circumstances as a result of his arrest and also the large amounts of money he was missing. Much like the little Indian in the story, Jimi had been blindsided by events in his life, and this song seems to reveal the depths of his unhappiness.
Openings for Advancement perceived through Environmental Opportunities

One important adaptation Jimi made as a young man concerned the first guitar he ever received which Al purchased for Jimi for the price of 5 dollars. Jimi, who was born left-handed but learned to do most things right-handed, changed the strings around on this right-handed guitar and instead played it left-handed which was an adaptation that would eventually have a direct impact on his future musical genius. Jimi learned that by manipulating the instrument like this he could get different sounds out of it, and later as an adult he played his guitars both upside down and backwards which helped him carve out his own unique sound that no one else was readily able to replicate . Because Jimi made this adaptation at such a young age and practiced so excessively, his technique became something that was uniquely his.

Another early experience that shaped the young Jimi Hendrix was seeing an Elvis Presley concert while he was growing up in Seattle. Jimi became fascinated by Elvis's showmanship, and much of his early artwork produced flattering pictures of the King. Although Jimi was somewhat shy throughout his life, on stage he truly had no inhibitions, and at least some of this he learned from watching Elvis when he was a young man. The impact of seeing Elvis live seemed to awaken in Jimi a sense of the heights a person could reach through playing music, and this rare opportunity was for Jimi a tipping point that helped give birth to his eventual persona as a stage performer.
Range of Social Interest perceived through Other Particularities

One barometer of a person's mental health can be observed by examining their relationships and interest in the welfare of other human beings. Jimi Hendrix, who appeared to have abandonment issues related to his childhood, and who had also been betrayed by several business associates, therefore seemed to have trouble developing a profound sense of social interest. Although Jimi was often approached about social causes, he seemed to be most comfortable letting his music do his talking for him, and did not feel as comfortable as an advocate and leader to promote social change as many of his 60's counterparts.

In this capacity it is interesting to consider Jimi's relationship with the Black Panthers as well as the larger issue of racism in the life of Jimi Hendrix. Growing up Jimi watched his father experience a great deal of racism related to finding jobs, etc. and this must have affected the young Jimi a great deal, as a lot of his early artwork depicts struggles for equality and justice. Jimi also experienced racism following his release from the Army when he went to play the "Chitlin" circuit in the Southern United States, where there was clearly different treatment for white and black musicians.

Jimi was eventually discovered a white man Chas Chandler, and found fame and acceptance with two white musicians who were of course Noel Redding and Mitch Mitchell. Although Jimi found success in the UK with these two men, he was still mocked by the British papers as "the wild man of Borneo" and with other racial epitaphs that appeared to alternatively mock and praise Jimi. Jimi eventually became known for playing "white" music by some of the more extremist black national groups in the United States, and many speculate it was the Black Panthers who pushed Jimi into eventually disbanding the Jimi Hendrix experience to form an all-Black band. Although there are widely varying accounts as to Jimi's relationship with the Panthers, it seems clear that Jimi was heavily conflicted about the issue of race.

In terms of social interest, Jimi's use of escapism through music is also interesting to examine. Music appeared to be the one thing that let him escape painful thoughts and feelings, and it was only when he had to quit playing and deal with other human beings when he seemed to be unhappy. People certainly took terrible advantage of Jimi throughout his life, as he died with only 21,000 thousand dollars in his banking account as a result of people pilfering millions from him over the course of his career. Jimi's lack of social interest therefore appeared to be based on very real experiences with people in the world, as his early home life and professional career were filled with repeated abandonment, disappointments, and betrayals from those that he thought he could depend on.

Jimi also had a great deal of narcissism, much of which contributed to the development of his music, which was also a defining characteristic of his personality. Many people who had experienced the kind of rejection Jimi had at the beginning of his career would have simply returned to playing mainstream music, but Jimi truly believed that his music was something special despite the negative reinforcement he had received from the New York crowds. A narcissist will often believe his or her own way is not only special and unique, but also better than the way anyone else is doing it, and this was very much demonstrated by Jimi's creation of his own music.

Although narcissism is often malignant, many exceptionally talented people demonstrate high levels of this trait in their dealings with others, which was certainly true in the case of Jimi Hendrix. When someone disagrees with or challenges someone who is malignantly narcissistic, their reaction may be extreme irritation, and Jimi's interpersonal relationships seemed to represent this idea. His habitually abusive behavior towards women showed Jimi had a very low tolerance for frustration, and when others, and particularly women disagreed with him, his response to this frustration was very often physical violence.

Jimi's violence towards women may have also arisen in part from his interactions with his mother Lucille, as Jimi never seemed to develop a healthy respect for women throughout his life. His lack of a consistent feminine presence and maternal gender guiding line growing up must have created some anger in Jimi, and hearing his father's descriptions of his mother's life may have also contributed to this dynamic.

Jimi's life was therefore empty of the kind of social interest in others that many felt was a larger part of the idealism of the 1960's. Although Jimi participated in some of the causes and issues of his times, his involvement was often at the recommendation of those around him. Jimi's lack of trust in other people, which had its roots in childhood patterns, was reinforced often throughout his life, and Jimi overcompensated for his lack of interest in others by developing a truly awe-striking ability that allowed him to escape from the world. Although this talent was extraordinary, it seemed to be in part created through the sublimation of his personal pain, and this left Jimi without a path other than music in which to actively experience joy in his life. Jimi's gift of music to the world was and is a lasting contribution that influenced thousands of musicians both before and after him, but was also in many ways a reaction to a troubled history, and this was the sadness and irony of this truly unique musician.

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Source by Joe Guse

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I sometimes hear from folks who are pleasantly surprised with how their martial separation is shaping up. Many had braced themselves for the worst and were afraid that the separation would actually lead to a divorce. So the fact that things have improved can be a huge relief. But it can also leave you with more questions than answers.

I heard from a wife who said: "I fought my husband tooth and nail about getting a separation. I was so scared of allowing him to move out. But he insisted and said I could chose between a separation or a divorce. So I really had no choice. I suspected that things were going to get even worse between us because of my fear and my resentment. But, much to my surprise, things have actually improved. In fact, we actually get a long much better since he moved out . he seems to look forward to seeing me and he appreciates me more. Our relationship has actually become fun again and we're flirting up a storm. But I'm left wondering how I should proceed. I'm thrilled we're connecting again, but obviously we can not go on like this forever. Eventually, he will have to move back home and I'm afraid that once he does, things are going to be back to the way they were and that our dull, damaged marriage is going to return. What is the best way to proceed when your marriage is actually better since you've separated? "

People often assume that a separation is just the first step on the path to a divorce, but this is most certainly not the case. Plenty of people actually see an improvement in their relationship and some of those couples even end up saving their marriage. But, if you are one of the lucky couples seeing this type of improvement, it's important that you do not move too quickly and that you capitalize on the improvements that you are seeing. Below, I'll offer some tips on how to best handle this situation.

Relish In Your Success, But Do not Take This For Granted: Of course you're going to be thrilled that suddenly you and your spouse are connecting and flirting again. This is so much preferable to avoiding each other or constantly fighting while you're separated.

But as good as this can feel, make sure that you realize that if you do not make any changes to whatever caused your separation in the first place, then you run the risk of the same old problems resurfacing when you attempt to reconcile or when he moves back in.

Right now, things are probably good because you're only focused on the chemistry and improvements between you that naturally occurs when you miss one another. I do not blame you. No one wants to dwell on their problems when things are going well. But just make sure that after you have reconnected, you eventually visit what issues brought you here in the first place.

Do not Rush Things And Risk A Relapse : Many people will see these improvements and think that this means they should immediately get back together or that they should hurry up and ask their spouse to move back home. They do not want to live apart from their spouse for even one more day. Here's what you have to remember. As good as things appear to be right now, you probably should not risk knocking over your house of cards by pushing for too much too soon. You have the rest of your life to live with your spouse and participate in your marriage. So make sure that it's right before you have him more back in.

Because quite frankly, right now you're likely in a bit of a honeymoon period brought about by the risk of losing each other. However, once your spouse moves back in and you try to move on as a married couple, you lose that feeling of scarcity that is helping you bond right now. So you do not be in any hurry and you do not want to rush things. If things are that good between you, why not build on that rather than taking a risk before you are really sure? There is nothing wrong with continuing on as you are, especially when you are enjoying yourself so much. Your path will likely become clear at some point. But right now, you're both enjoying yourselves and wanting to see more of each other, so why rock the boat early in the game? Forbidden fruit can be much sweeter, so I often advise couples to savor this for as long as they can because doing so will often help a lot in your recovery.

Make Sure Things Are As Good And As Clear As They Can Possibly Be Before One Of You Moves Back In: Your real goal should be to set it up so that when the two of you move back in together and make a go of it as a married couple again, you are giving yourself the best chance of success. So do not gloss over the real issues or allow your trouble areas to lay in wait. When your relationship is strong enough to withstand it, explore these issues in positive ways. Hopefully, the bonding and reconnecting that you have been doing will make your problems seem much more small and therefore more manageable. And often, when you are getting a long so well, you can approach the problematic issues in a more playful and light hearted way to that you really can solve them and move on for good.

I'd like to make one final point. Remember that you are in a good situation. Many couples actually regress or fight more when they are separated. So the fact that you are not is a wonderful thing and it allows you a wonderful opportunity to enjoy and relish this time without rushing or worrying.

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Source by Leslie Cane

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We are attracted by extravagantly wrapped gifts with red bows and colorful paper. But it's not the wrapper we treasure, but the gift. Sometimes the wrapper might give clues as to what is inside, but sometimes the gift inside is a complete surprise and totally unexpected. The gift of the first Christmas was not wrapped the way the world expected either. The Jews wanted a mighty warrior with a sword in one hand and King's crown in the other. But instead, God sent his greatest gift – an innocent, defenseless, vulnerable baby, wrapped in cloths, not wrapping paper.

Games using Wrapping Paper

• All Wrapped Up – Tear up various types of Christmas wrapping paper and place it inside a large sheet. More is better. There are two rounds to this game. In the first round, each group wraps one of its members in masking tape (STICKY SIDE OUT) from ankles to just below their arms. Arms should NOT be wrapped. Be sure to emphasize STICKY SIDE OUT. The first team to completely wrap up their teammate in making tape with no cracks whatsoever wins. In Round two, first, throw all the torn up wrapping paper on the floor of the playing area and then teams work to roll the wrapped player in as much wrapping paper as possible. After a couple of minutes, tell teams to stop. Award the team with the most wrapping player stuck to their teammate. Be sure to take group photos!
• Christmas dice gift exchange – Have everyone sit in a circle and start with a gift. Play a Christmas carol while 1-3 dice are being passed around (space them out). Each person rolls and passes the dice. If they roll a six, they can trade gift wrapped packages with whomever they want. At the end of the song, everyone keeps the package in front of him or her.
• Christmas Unwrap – Wrap a gift with several layers of paper and heavy duty tape to make it difficult to unwrap. Youth line up and then must roll doubles six on a pair of dice, run to a baseball bat, spin 5 times around the bat, then go to the gift and put on a woolhat, snow / ski gloves and then begin to unwrap the present – first to do so wins the prize. As soon as they get to the present the next person can start rolling the dice to start the process again. When someone new gets to the present, they first person must stop, remove the clothing items and then run back to the end of the line. The youth who successfully unwraps the gift gets to keep it.
• Christmas Wrap Up – You'll need a lot of wrapping paper, some tape, and a bow for each team. The objective is to be the first team to completely wrap someone up and place a bow on their head like a giant Christmas present. Be sure that your students do not forget to make a gift tag written to whom the present is for and from. You can have an award for the most completely wrapped as well as the most creative and best wrapped. Be sure to take some photos along the way.
• Christmas Wrapping Paper Match – Cut out squares from several different patters of Christmas wrapping paper. You want to have one square for each person in your group. Place them all in box with a small hole cut in the top. You'll also want two of the squares to be identical in design and pattern but make all the others different. Fold each square and place it inside the box. Let each youth pick one square. Once everyone has a square announce, that the first two people to find matching squares will win a prize.
• Gift Ball – Save used wrapping paper, bubble wrap, cardboard, plastic, and packaging bits to create a ball. To create the gift ball, begin by wrapping a small prize or even money in a piece of used gift wrap. Layer on additional wrap and packaging bits to create a ball, securing it tightly. If you are short of gift wrap you can also use magazines, plastic bags, newspaper, and other things you have around the house. Add a few layers of these between the layers of wrapping paper. You can secure the layers with any kind of tape, yarn, string, and leftover ribbon bits, etc. You can add candy and small gifts to the ball in a bonus layers as you go along. The more the merrier so that everyone has a chance to get something. The bigger the ball, the better, especially if you have a large group. To play, have the youth group members sit in a circle with the gift ball and a pair of dice. One youth begins unwrapping the ball as fast as he can while the player to his left rolls the dice repeatedly until he gets a 7. When he does, the ball is passed to him to unwrap, and the dice are passed to the next player. Tearing off layers and dice-rolling continues until someone finally reaches the prize and claims it as the winner. You can make it more challenging by making the player wear winter gloves.
• Gift Guess – Gift wrap a variety of common objects and place tags on them with numbers (socks, ornaments, a candy cane, holly, pine cones, bells, an angel, Jesus in a manger, a can of eggnog, a Santa hat, a reindeer, a cookie, and any other common Christmas items you can find. Pass the gifts around and give each person a small amount of time to feel the gifts and make their guesses as to what's inside each. give them a piece of paper to number and write down their guesses. The youth that make the most correct guesses are the winners.
• Gift wrap Relay – Cut up the front pictures of several old Christmas Greeting cards and hide each piece in a separate box. Gift Wrap the boxes. Divide the youth into two or more teams and put the pile of wrapped boxes on a table at the other end of the room. You'll need to have one set of boxes and one picture for each team. The first player in each team runs to the table, unwraps a present, grabs his picture piece and sprints back to his next teammate. The rest of the team has a turn until all the pieces of the picture have been unwrapped. The teams then need to race to assemble and correctly identify their picture. The first team to do this wins!
• Gift Wrap Snowball Fight – Take a bunch of used wrapping paper and wad it up into balls. Divide the room in half or quarters so that you have a team in each section. Dump the wadded up wrapping paper in the middle of the room. On go, youth toss the balls of wrapping paper at each other and into other sections as quickly as they can. When time is up the team with the least amount of wrapping paper in their section wins.
• Penguin Gift Race – Divide the youth into two teams. Have players at the start of the line put a gift wrapped box between their knees and waddle to a designated spot and back. The next in line does the same until all youth have had their turn. If the gift is dropped, they must return to start and begin waddling again. The team that finishes first wins.
• Siamese Twin gift-wrapping race – For this Christmas game you'll need to have a box, wrapping paper, scissors and tape for each team. Divide your youth group into pairs who will stand side by side with one hand free and the other around the waist of their team member (as if they were one person with two hands- a left hand and a right hand). The object of the game is to see which Siamese Twin team can gift wrap their present (correctly) in the smallest amount of time.

TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

MAKE IT SPIRITUAL

Unfortunately, because God came to us wrapped in a human body and not in his majesty and glory a lot of people at the first Christmas missed Him. The gift was not wrapped as they expected. There was no special welcome, no special preparations, no grand entrance and in fact there was not even room for him in the inn nor a real bed to sleep in. The son of God was wrapped in rags and lying in a manger, a feed trough.

Just imagine focusing on the wrapping paper from a Christmas gift and treasuring the wrapper and missing and throwing away the gift.

Unfortunately, today, too many people in the world are so focused on all the wrappings of Christmas – the gifts, the cheer, the celebrations, the wishes of peace – that they forget the real gift – that God sent his Son to save the world .

What matters is not the outside wrapping, but rather the gift inside and what we do with it.

We do not have to earn a gift, work for it, or do anything other than receive it. Read Romans 2: 8: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-"
Read Luke 2: 1-20

The people God first told about the birth were shepherds. In general, the shepherds were the poor, the jobless, the powerless, the less educated, the uncultured, maybe even the outcasts. Often when we buy gifts for others, we reserve the best gifts for the special people, the ones who will surely give us something in return, the ones who are our favorites. But the gift of Jesus was first announced to the shepherds, those without titles, those who could return little.

God had given the world a gift it did not think it wanted or needed, and certainly not as expected, and he presented the gift to a group of people who were not the powerful, the rulers, or those most looked up to. It was a seemingly ordinary gift, in an ordinary wrapper, given to ordinary people.

MAKE IT PRACTICAL

The Shepherds

Read Luke 2: 1-20

* Why do you think the angels appeared to the shepherds and not someone else?

* Could the shepherds have chosen to accept or decline the angels invitation? What did they choose to do?

* How long do you think it took them to decide?

* Why do you think it was important to them to see the Baby Jesus first hand?

* Why did the shepherds drop everything to go find out about some baby? Why were they so excited?

* What does this baby mean to them?

* What does this baby mean to us?

* Why was the birth of Christ Good News?

* What are some lessons, truths, attitudes, and responses can we learn from the shepherds?

MAKE IT PERSONAL

* Do you still find a sense of wonder when you consider God's gift to the world, or has it lost its luster? Are you more focused on the wrappings of Christmas or the Gift God Sent?

* What are you hoping for this Christmas?

* How can you have a deeper first hand experience with Christ this Christmas?

* What can you do to help others see through all the wrappings of the holiday and clearly see the true gift of Christmas?

* The gift is not really ours until we choose to receive it. It is of no use to us unless we take it for ourselves, unwrap it, and make it our own. Have you received the gift of Christ in your life?

SCRIPTURES

Luke 2: 11-12 (NIV) – "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. "

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Source by Ken Sapp

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Three days up the Columbia River

Cast off from Astoria, OR (river mile 15)

I have no need to dream about far off exotic ports that I may never see because first I'm going to explore my own back yard, so to speak. We arranged for our son to drive with us to the coast. The plan was to trailer the sailboat to Astoria and he would bring the trailer back empty, leaving the three of us to fend for ourselves and find our way upriver to our home moorage. The boat ramp at Astoria is convenient and well designed, but the pre-launch area is part gravel parking lot and part muddy field. We parked near another sailboat crew that was busy stepping their mast and rigging the boat. Because of the mud and gravel I decided we would get on off the boat as little as possible while getting ready, so I told my 10 year old to go play on the docks and try to stay away from the Sea Lions that had taken over one entire float. The Sea Lions are so big and crowded that the float is listing and partially submerged. These are some of the same critters that will soon swim the 130 or so miles up river to Bonneville Dam, where they will feast on returning Salmon that pool below the dam.

While rigging the boat, I can hear the group next to us taking instruction from their skipper. I hope I do not sound like that. In a little over an hour were ready to back down the ramp and turn our boat loose. Launching goes off without a hitch, minutes later we are on our way, I turn and watch long enough to see our son turn the correct way towards home. He's on his own and so are we. We quietly float past the Sea Lions; they ignore us as we motor out into the river. Not hint of wind as we point ourselves up stream. The river is smooth and flat; we are about ten miles from the ocean. Other than the rising tide you would not know we at the edge of the largest ocean in the world. The Columbia is about four miles wide at Astoria, with lots of sand bars, and mud flats. There are two navigation channels going up river, one is the main channel where the ships going to Portland must operate or run aground. The other is navigable by small boats and meanders behind grassy islands along the Oregon side. We are not oriented yet; we have our chart, but do not know where we are, so I point us towards what looks like a likely channel with some sort of markers in the distance. We wave to the other sailboat as they go by heading for the main channel. I wonder if they think were lost. We travel about three of four miles and using the binoculars try to spot a number somewhere that we can locate on the chart. I still do not know where we should be heading but I have been studying the shore and do not think we are any where near where the channel goes. Just because the charts lists an Island and you can see an Island does not mean your boat belongs next to an Island. I think the river is more like ten miles wide now, so it's easy to get confused. I'm starting to wish we had not left the dock without a better plan than head east and see where you go. We finally are near enough to positively identify a marker and realize we are heading into a dead end. I change course and cut across an area that the chart shows as having only one foot of water at mean low low tide. Our depth sounder says about eight feet are under us, but I'm very nervous since our keel is down about six feet. Running aground is not the only worry, running into a deadhead or submerged piling is a very real possibility, and a good reason to go slow.

In short order as we get close to the Oregon shore we spot some markers that correspond to our chart and finally know where we are. The wind picks up a little and we are sailing, I kill the motor and enjoy the silence. I would not describe the view as spectacular but it is very interesting and not at all boring. Birds of course are everywhere, the ever-present Herons are around each corner standing perfectly still trying to look invisible, and when they take flight, they look positively prehistoric. You can not sail the Columbia without seeing hundreds of Osprey and their nests, they seem to own every piling or navigation aid ever built. The squawking young ones are as big as their parents and demand to be fed non stop. We poke our bow into backwaters and coves that seem interesting, sometimes we spot deer but more often cows. It is surprising that we discover buildings out in this area that really is just a few feet above the water. Most are shacks left over from more prosperous times on the river, but some are quite substantial and have rotten old docks, a few are occupied. When we get close enough to see that someone may be living there, you suddenly feel like your trespassing and quickly turn away. The wind is very spotty, sometimes we are not moving at all. I think we have run aground and ask if anyone thinks we have stopped moving, Jaiden is sure we are still moving because he can see the current flowing around the boat. I have lined up on shore two trees and can tell we are stopped (stuck in the mud) I play the guessing game awhile longer and finally announce that someone will have to crank up the keel or we'll be stuck all day. No one moves, Linda is reading, and Jaiden is out on the bow. I climb into the cabin and turn the winch handle one full turn then watch the trees, nothing, another full turn and were free, sailing again, one with the wind, charging against the current of the mighty Columbia river. Oops, someone needs to steer soon, or I'll be cranking the keel up even more. We have been steering through these narrow waterways for several hours and thanks to occasional markers, we know exactly where we are. We have a GPS with us but using the chart seems more appropriate and enjoyable. I remember to crank the keel back down, it's reassuring knowing we can change our draft from six feet to three feet when needed.

As the sun is heading west the wind picks up and we are sailing well. We clear the last of the islands and make for the main channel, I think the port of Cathlamet is just around the next corner and sure enough soon a forest of boat masts and a breakwater come into view.

Cathlamet, WA (river mile 40)

I hate to take the sails down, we really have not had very good sailing until the last hour and I do not want to quit. Soon we are motoring into the moorage; there are quite a few people around, a few wave, and many kayakers. Just past the gas dock, I spot a section of open dock, and smartly glide into a space right behind the sailboat that followed us out of Astoria. We exchange niceties as if were old friends, they mention they've been there for hours, what a great sail. What happened to us? I tell them we went behind all the islands, had a great time, did not use the motor until we needed to drop sail and motor into the moorage. That reminds me, need to check the gas, and may have to fill up before we leave tomorrow. Our new friends said they were staying the next night at the Longview yacht club. I thought to myself, I did not know Longview had a marina or moorage, how can they have a club. Cathlamet has a great little moorage, and a busy place. We ran into an old acquaintance kayak camping. They offer camping, transient moorage or year around. The moorage is very much protected from ship traffic, there's a boat ramp and fuel dock. It's just a one block walk into town where there's a couple restaurants and stores for shopping. We arrived early enough that we could tour town and get back to the boat to make dinner before dark. In the morning after a leisurely coffee and breakfast, we motored into a neat little channel behind an Island on the Washington side. There was lots of evidence of old logging operations where they handled log rafts. We smacked into something two feet below the surface and discovered a row or submerged pilings. After a short way the waterway shoaled all the way across and forced us to turn around, leaving the exploring to kayakers. Where we cleared into the main river is Puget Island, the Island is served by bridge from the Washington side and by ferryboat from the Oregon side. As we proceeded up river the ferry came across in front of us so we ducked into the slough the ferry came out of and waited for its return trip. I do not know whom was more amusing the ferry passengers looking at us or us staring back at them. So far today we have made almost no progress up river and already killed three hours. No wind again, just like yesterday so we settle into a monotonous 4 mph sleep inducing grind. On the Washington side, we go by some beautiful high cliffs. I check my maps and find the names Eagle cliffs, Bunker Hill, Oak Point. In Oregon we see mostly lowland and sure enough pretty soon we come to another likely island waterway to explore. After checking the chart I determine that there's enough depth all the way through and turn the bow towards Oregon once again. In minutes, the main river is history and we are again surrounded by nature. Somehow, 4mph seems like we are racing through, even being disrespectful using a noisy outboard motor. I cut the engine speed to just a fast idle and watch the shoreline slip by. Eventually we come to the proverbial fork in road and after checking the chart head into the left passage. It's not very long before "bump" and we are hard aground, no warning at all. The depth went from fifteen feet to three feet in half a boat length. We free ourselves and move over about twenty feet and do it again, and again, and arrrrgain. About now, I see some people on shore over on the other channel. They are waving at us to use the other channel over by them. I am reluctant to heed their waves because my up to date current chart says to go this way if we ever expect to see the Columbia River again. We free ourselves one last time and motor towards our saviors. They are standing on their private dock a little amused. They inform us that the charts have been wrong for twenty five years, and all we need to do is keep to the right from here on and we will have plenty of depth all the way back to the main river. Ah local knowledge what would we do without it.

The wind comes up again and we are not moving slowly anymore. Without the motor running, I no longer feel disrespectful as we rip along almost in silence. Even though we are going up river we are sailing downwind, so we have the motion of the boat slicing through the water and we are moving with the wind so it is very calm with not much apparent wind on board. We are nearing Longview and the wind has picked up a lot. We are sailing on a broad reach most of the time and no longer sailing straight up the middle of the river. I'm choosing headings to keep the boat under control and comfortable, (not heeling toooo much) otherwise my crew may mutiny and never go sailing with me again. We fly by Rainer and Longview. Rainer has a nice newer guest dock we have spent the night at several times, and the town has a pizza place. I scan the shore at Longview. I still have not seen a moorage or marina or even a river to hide in, let alone a yacht club. All I see is a big mill of some sort. It is starting to get dark and my hopes of making it to St Helens are starting to fade with the daylight. I am really torn right now. Go on or turn back to Rainer? The wind is moving us faster than ever; but it's getting dark even faster. If I push on and the wind dies, we'll be in for a long motor ride. If we keep going and hit something at this speed, it could be a major problem. In the dark I wont be able to get near shore for fear of grounding and my distance perception is almost gone along with the light. Of course, my crew does not know my thoughts, they just want to go in the cabin to get warm and find dinner. I push on; one factor trumps all others tonight. I'm having a great sail and do not want it to end. When I gaze ahead trying to make out anything that does not belong in the water, I see some industrial lights along shore.

Kalama, WA (river mile 75)
We are approaching Kalama. In about five miles I drop the sails and we motor into the moorage. The boat basin is behind a high dyke, completely protected from the wakes of passing ships .. I'm hoping Kalama has transient moorage. The office is closed so its up to us to find a place to tie up for the night. We have been here before to get fuel, but have never been beyond the entrance. I admire the many boats. Powerboats are mostly under cover, each slip like a personal garage. The sailboats all have tall masts so wont fit under cover, they are mostly at the end of docks where there are no roofs. Each parking place has it own light and power plug, close by are water spigots. The foot ramps leading to the docks have locking gates with security systems. Once you go out one of these doors and it slams behind you, getting back inside is impossible without going for a swim. We need to make sure not to get ourselves locked out. It's dark but with the marina lights we have no problem making our way safely. I spot what I've been looking for, a sign with an arrow pointing to Guest Moorage. The guest spots are at the very end, about one hundred feet of open dock is designated for guests so we pull in at the very end trying to get as close to the foot ramp as possible. There is a large amount of floating debris in the water next to the dock, apparently the local wind and currents cause all this flotsam to collect here as a welcome mat for visitors. Some of the driftwood and logs are fifteen feet long and twelve inches in diameter. I momentarily put a foot on one as I tie up the boat, big mistake, I should know better. In a heartbeat, I could be in the water and trapped under this mess. We are all hungry and food has been a major topic of discussion, so we head up the ramp and are on our way to town. The guest dock is outside the security gate so we will be able to come and go as we please.

Downtown Kalama is essentially on the other side of the interstate, so all we need do is walk over the railroad mainline via a sky bridge walkway and then under the freeway via the road tunnel and then we pop out onto the main street, walk about one block to the local hot night spot with a sign advertising pizza. It must be Saturday night because on the other side of the door marked "NO MINORS" are many loud party-goers. We are mostly by ourselves in the family area. The walk back to the boat is windy and cold, sleep comes easy tonight. Breakfast and coffee in the sunshine, the wind is light. It looks like the beginning of a pleasant day. In the daylight we can see what a mess we've parked in, the flotsam covers the entire end of the basin and the guest docks, are being swallowed, one dock is completely useless. As we pull out, I need to be careful not to damage our propeller or rudder. Once clear of the marina we can see the city park with its tall totem poles, a sight we missed in the dark. Kalama is at river mile 75, after the better part of two days on the water I'm feeling at home, but I think my crew wants to be at home. I suggest we make for St Helens and have Ice cream at a little shop a short walk from the public dock. Miraculously spirits are lifted. Motor sailing now, between light winds and the quietly purring motor, the boat is making good speed. We are tacking back and forth trying to make best use of shifty winds. The occasional ship chases us from mid channel and keeps us alert. Not at all like the backwaters around islands where the biggest commotion is a juvenile Osprey demanding to be fed.

St Helens, OR (river mile 86)
Sand Island is directly offshore of St Helens and (almost) protects the community from passing ship wakes. The city has a strong boating commitment and maintains free public docks on both the mainland and Sand Island. During the summer, there is a free shuttle boat to the island, making it easy for a boater to tie up on the island and still go into town.
The passage between the mainland and Sand Island is narrow and has a strong current making docking on either side a full attention all crew on deck maneuver. On one visit, here we discovered the hard way, an old submerged piling right next to the dock. The docks are really nice, onshore is a small city park complete with gazebo and a small grassy amphitheater. Hot and cold showers in the bathrooms (everything is free) make St Helens one of my favorite cruising destinations. We tromp up the ramp heading for the Ice cream and Gelato shop. Not in any hurry to leave, we spend some time at the small park in front of city hall where they have a nice foot path depicting Lewis and Clarks exploration. This is a very worthwhile place to visit.

Back at the waters edge I sit in the gazebo to read while my crew discovers a river otter playing under the ramp float. A city employee shows up dressed in a spiffy uniform and quickly gathers what little litter there is and just as fast is gone. Eventually we gather at the boat and cast off, the main river is just a few minutes away. At this point boaters have a major choice of routes, the main river is shortest and fastest no doubt, but more picturesque, relaxing, and off the beaten path is Multnomah Channel. Sauvies Island on the Oregon side is about 15 miles long, and following Multnomah Channel around the island to the Willamette River and back to the Columbia is about 24 miles. On this trip, I have been wanting to explore a little slough on the Washington side so we stay on the Columbia. Soon we clear Warrior rock light on Sauvie Island and continue up river keeping a sharp watch for commercial traffic, and occasionally glancing at the depth sounder. Running aground is not a major problem and our swing keel is very forgiving, but its not any more seamanlike running into things in your boat than is being a good driver and hitting parked cars with rubber bumpers.

Sauvie Island has a notorious and popular nude beach and soon we cruise by, it's hard to see well with the binoculars bouncing around from the waves. Back on the Washington side, I'm looking for the mouth of a slough that I find on my chart but have never explored. According to what I've read there is a houseboat community nestled behind a small island. I spot a small runabout coming from shore and change course to investigate; sure enough, a small opening presents itself. Sails down and motoring very slow we cautiously approach, I know from past experience that islands extend underwater for a long ways and we need to find a channel to safely enter. From hundreds of years of commercial use I expect the river to have rotten old pilings just about anywhere and everywhere. I ask Jaiden to watch closely from the bow. With one eye on the depth sounder, we bravely forge ahead. A thousand feet in we go by a boat ramp, which I assume, is where the runabout had come from. We are down to about six feet, so I crank up the keel a little and keep moving. We can see the houseboats now; it looks like about a dozen. Several have boats tied up, one is a large sailboat. and we come to a stop again. The gauge reads four feet, I am reluctant to lift the keel anymore, we are getting close to where the rudder might hit and not only do some damage but we could get stuck. I lift the keel another turn and reverse course, being sure to fully lower the keel when we clear the island and continue up the Columbia. I'm not giving up, that big sailboat had to come in during higher water and so could we, or next time we have the dinghy with us, we can anchor and dinghy the last mile. That will be another trip, another day. There's not much to see on either side but low banks or sandy beaches, Sauvies Island sports the occasional million dollar estate but Washington has some too.

As we approach the Portland and Vancouver area boat traffic increases, plus there are ships anchored. I learned years ago to stay away from parked ships when I tangled my mast with a fishing line a crewman had over the side. Today security is a big issue, so we stay clear of ships. The Willamette River flows into the Columbia at the top of Sauvies Island and creates a standing wave right at the junction. Boaters tend to cut this corner close and sometimes are rewarded with a wall of water over their bow. We continue on past more anchored ships and soon are opposite Hayden Island, Home to Jantzen Beach shopping center and where interstate five crosses the Columbia River. Our moorage basin is carved out of Hayden Island and the entrance is on the Columbia side of the island so we stay in the main channel the rest of our trip. The last challenge we must overcome is the railroad bridge, at high water the draw span must swing open to allow our mast clearance. One trip I remember waiting two hours to pass through, we arrived in the daytime and finally cleared the span after dark. This day the water is low and our current boat blessed with a short stick (size does matter) slips underneath, thirty minutes later we are safely in our slip at Hayden Bay. Previously on our way to Astoria, we had left our car in the parking lot, so it was waiting for us to drive home. This was a great trip, I plan to do it again someday bringing my inflatable kayak or dinghy to explore the areas I missed.

Hayden Bay, Portland, OR (river mile 107)
John

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Source by John Cummins

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Those familiar with the Star Wars Saga will certainly recognise the powerful Jedi Master Yoda. In the original trilogy, Yoda's character was mainly that of a teacher, and it is not until the prequel movies that we see some of his abilities with the lightsaber. Long recognised as one of the most powerful Jedi in the universe, here is a brief summary of Yoda's life and Force abilities.

George Lucas does not provide much detail of Yoda's early life. He is a male of an unknown (and un-named) species, born in the year 896BBY, on a remote, and also un-named planet.

NOTE: BBY stands for Before the Battle of Yavin – the year the Death Star was destroyed, leading to the eventual overthrow of the Empire. Due to the significance of this event, the Republic established this date as Year 0 when it set the new post-Empire calendar.

Standing at barely 26 inches tall, it is not even known if Yoda is of average height for his species. What we do known is that early in his life, he left his remote home planet for the core worlds when his ship was struck by an asteroid and disabled, barely managing to reach an un-named swampy planet (not Dagobah). It is on this planet that he encounters the Jedi Master N'Kata Del Gormo, who recognises that Yoda is extremely Force sensitive and trains him. It is here that Yoda becomes a Jedi Master in the year 796 BBY. Over the next 600 years, Yoda trains countless younglings as head of the Jedi Training Academy, and continues to add to his own skills as a Jedi Master. Soon recognised as one of the greatest Jedi Masters, Yoda has the following Force abilities.

Swordmaster – Title given only to those who have mastered all techniques in lightsaber combat. Yoda prefers the Form IV Technique which employs a variety of whirling and acrobatic movements.

The Force – Generally considered to be the Jedi Orders greatest Master of the Force, including his extremely powerful, and precise, telekinetic abilities, including:

Force Push: Ability to throw objects / people away

Force Pull: Ability to pull objects towards himself

Force Whirlwind: Advanced Force Push that lifts , spins and immobilizes opponents

Force Repulse / Force Throw: More powerful Force Push, used to fling objects at high velocity away from the user

Force Wave: Most powerful form of the Force Push, creates a wave of pure Force energy that pushes anything in its path away from the source (Yoda)

Force Valor: Used to focus abilities, increase resolve, and increase ones capacity to move faster and strike harder. used by Yoda to overcome limitations of old age

Force Lightning: Yoda had the ability to deflect and dissipate Force Lightning with his bare hands.

Battle Meditation – Ability to simultaneously lift the spirits of his allies while disheartening the resolve of his opponents. Enhanced by Yoda's reputation as a warrior, he was known to win battles by his presence on the battlefield.

At the core of Yoda's abilities was his skill as a teacher. As Grand Master of the Jedi Order, he had a hand in training nearly all Jedi. He also teaches young Luke Skywalker, who after the Jedi are nearly exterminated by Darth Vader, goes on to found the New Jedi Order.

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Source by Mark Rocco

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Napoleon and Chess

"A leader has the right to be beaten, but never the right to be surprised."
– Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Bonaparte was with no doubt one of the greatest military leaders of his time. For him, failing to prepare meant preparing to fail. Without a plan there was certainly no victory. Without a great strategy you were doomed to lose in battle. And back then that meant your life.

And Napoleon had all the attributes a great leader must have to be successful, and he worked on them by playing an ancient game; a game that has never lost its popularity: Chess. And he sharpened his strategic senses by playing it on a regular basis. And as you might have correctly assumed, he was a master at it.

So I asked myself:

What are the specific positive side effects by playing this game?

And how can we profit from it?

Reason # 1 – Creativity

Playing chess will benefit your creativity. While the various opening scenarios of the game might appear similar (I have never played a game that was totally the same), the possibilities afterwards are simply too complex. In this way you really encounter new situations with every game you play – guaranteed. And there are no limits to your creativity. Every game asks for new ways to beat your opponent, you need to vary your tactics in order to outsmart your opponent. For Napoleon these patterns were important for his military strategies: Every battlefield had different conditions and different settings; and not to mention the many different moves of his opponents. Chess seemed to be the perfect practice for this kind of thinking.

Reason # 2 – Concentration

In Chess situations can get really complicated and difficult. You have to take several options into account before you finally make your move. This demands a lot of concentration and focus. This is the tough part of chess. Having the will to really think things through.

Imagine how Napoleon would sit over a plan for hours and hours. I don't know how many hours of the day he used for sleeping but I bet he was simply to focused and concentrated on the task at hand that he might have forgotten to go to bed.

Reason # 3 – Logical Thinking

Another great attribute that chess is adding to your life is the improvement of your logical thinking processes. In chess the playing figures are inter dependent, this means that you have to use the figures in harmony with each other. And you do this by logical thinking. You also have to take your future moves into account and most importantly how your opponent might react on this move. You need to think in logical patterns.

Reason # 4 – Problem Solving

One of the greatest feelings a chess player can get is the feeling of a successful solution of a problem. Sometimes you can literally feel the pressure when a player is in the aggression mode and is attacking your armies. You need to bring all of the mentioned aspects together to master this difficult situation. By playing chess you not only get used to problems you also get used to start thinking about reasonable solutions. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't, but the important thing is that you start the process of trying to solve them.

Reason # 5 – Importance of Sacrificing

Back in the days of Napoleon sacrificing was certainly not the best option – resulting in the death of a lot of soldiers. But in chess it sometimes becomes inevitable. You sacrifice in chess in order to get an edge either in your position or in material. Great players are masters of this principle of sacrificing. They draw the attention of their opponent to the initial sacrifice while planning a completely different, more complex way to beat them. I highly recommend to study the following game that was played in 1871 between Glinksberg and Miguel Najdorf. It is called the "Polish Immortal". In this game Najdorf sacrifices like crazy only to beat Glinksberg with a tiny bishop move at the end. This is art.

Reason # 6 – Decision Making

In life and as well in chess you are presented many options. And you are the one to figure out which move is the best in each situation. And it is so nice to see how a chess game develops. With only one move of your opponent many new options are created and presented. And with every new move you have to think them through and make the best possible choice. What a great practice for real life.

Napoleon recognized all these benefits and sharpened his mind by playing a lot of chess. This was a part of his preparation. This was his way of making sure never to end up being surprised.

Today, most of us are not facing a military battlefield but there are a lot of personal ones in our lives:
Our careers, our relationships and even our faith.

So let's use chess to sharpen our minds and prepare ourselves for all the possible battlefields out there.

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Source by Martin Stern

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Kans was the king of the pastoral community, living in the land on either side of the Kalindi river, now called Yamuna, at Mathura. He was an usurper, having dethroned his own father, Ugrasen, whom he kept in captivity. He loved his sister Devky very dearly and married her off to Vasudev. After the wedding ceremony, the young couple were seated in a chariot and Kans himself drove the chariot to leave them at their house, when a voice was heard, warning the king that Devky's eighth child would kill him.

Kans got up and drew his sword to kill her then and there, but her husband pleaded for mercy, offering to hand over every baby born to her, to Kans. So the King kept them in jail. As soon as a baby was born, it was taken by the ruthless Kans and its head banged on a rock. Thus seven of Devky's sons were killed.

The next one was black in colour, something unknown among the community. Somehow, it was surreptitiously carried off to the other bank of the river, which was in spate, but receded when Vasudev approached it, and was placed by the side of Yashoda, the wife of Nand, and her daughter brought back and shown to Kans .

"It is a girl. Spare its life," pleaded its mother. But Kans took no chance and threw it on the rock. It slipped off his hands and flew away, towards the heavens, not before warning the King that his killer is already resting in Gokul, Nand's village! Kans immediately took measures to locate this boy, who escaped from his prison, and kill him by hook or by crook; but all his efforts failed.

Yashoda had already one son, born to her the day Vasudev brought the black boy called Krishna, meaning black. Both the boys grew up as her sons, but they were Poles apart in temperament and behaviour. Balram, the true son, was forthright and innocent, while Krishna was mischievous and very cunning, always smiling and playing his flute which attracted the women of the village, who came to him at night and enjoyed sex with him.

When the boys, Balram and Krishna grew up and came to know of the misdeeds of Kans, they broke through the well guarded gates of Kans' palace, threw him out and killed him. The kingdom was restored to Ugrasen.

Rugmini, a maiden of the village, fell in love with Krishna and they secretly met, went away and were married. Rugmy, her brother and Jarasandh, another powerful King, attacked Krishna several times; in the end, they fled to Dwaraka, where Krishna settled for good.

At the request of a Satyabhama's father, whose precious gem Syamanthakam was lost, but recovered by the heroic fight of Krishna, he married her. The two wives, living as neighbours, hated each other; it took all the skills and tact of their husband, to keep the two in good humour.

During Mahabharat war, in which the whole north Indian Kings were divided into two rival groups, supporting Pandavas and Kauravas, both descendants of the same Vyas, Krishna supported the Pandavas, they being related to him.

MAHABHARAT WAR

Imagine a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. After the war, all able bodied men were killed.Only widows and children remained. A blooming cultural centre in Asia collapsed and the dark age set in.

The war described in the epic Mahabharat is nothing short of it. In plot, characterisation and vivid description, there is nothing in the world to rival this voluminous book, in verse, believed to be written by Ved Vyas, who was suffering from a dirty skin ailment, but was asked to mate the Queens of Indraprastha, in Delhi, as their husband was impotent.

The first one closed her eyes because of her revulsion, during intercourse, and the son born was blind. The next one kept her eyes open, but was mentally so tortured that her son's skin was bleached. The maid gladly agreed and she was blessed with a son, well versed in philosophy, politics and had great sense of righteousness.

The children of both Dhritarashtr, the blind and Pandu the white-skinned, hated their cousin brothers from early childhood, finally resulting in war, which could have been averted, had Krishna wanted. On the other hand, along with the black woman Draupaty, he actively interfered in fanning the flames of hatred. Gandhary knew everything and in the battle field, where all her one hundred sons lay dead, she cursed Krishna: you too will suffer, as I do now.

Two instances need focussing. It was a war like a cricket match, to begin every day at a fixed time and to stop at sun set. An unarmed warrior will not be attacked.

The Pandava brothers would visit their elders, who were on their enemy's side, to convey their condolences, after the day's fight was over.

When, both sides were assembled on either side of the battle field at Kurukshetra in Haryana, Arjun the hero asked his charioteer Krishna to steer it towards the centre of the field. When he saw his elders and Guru Dronacharya on the opposite side, he wondered why they should fight each other. Krishna argued with him and, in the end, he used his magical powers to brow beat him.

When Karna's chariot sank in the ground and he was trying to extricate it, Krishna told him to release his arrow without a moment's delay, as he would never get a chance again. Had Arjun known that Karn was his brother, born before his mother married his father, a fact well known to both Bhishma and Krishna, he would have refused to fight any more. As it was, like a bowler using his skill when the batsman, was tying his shoe lace, the cowardly hero of the battle killed his own brother in the most shameful episode of the war!

Krishna witnessed his children fighting among themselves. Old and tired, he was resting in the forest, when an arrow hit his foot.

He never recovered from the wound; perhaps, he did not desire it.

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Source by Kk Subramanian

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Footwork is very important when you're playing tennis. If you can not move correctly to hit the ball, you will feel uncomfortable and you may not be able to win the point. Roger Federer once said, "If I move well, I play well." Roger Federer is impeccable with his footwork, and that is one of the reasons why he is so good at playing tennis.

The first position to learn about is the ready position. In the ready position, your feet are comfortably spread apart and your knees are slightly bent. You should stand on the balls of each foot. Once you are in this position, it should be easy to run side to side. Now, the next step is the split step. When coming out of the ready position, take a slight jump in the air and land on the balls of your feet. If you do this correctly, you will feel like you are at your quickest when moving from side to side.

The key is to time the split step just before your opponent makes contact with the ball. If you see that you can not get to the ball as fast as you could, that means you need to time the split step a bit earlier. When a ball is close to you, step out to the right with your right foot to move to the ball. When a ball is far away, you will do something called a gravity step. The step out to the right with your right foot and gravity step happens naturally when you play tennis so you do not have to think about it. However, it's still good to know what these footwork patterns will do for your game. The step out happens after you're done with your split step. Your outside foot is your right foot and your inside foot is your left foot. You push off your inside foot and step out with your outside foot. It's the reverse when you're running to the backhand (it is the reverse if you're a lefty).

The gravity step is something that you do when a ball is far away and you really have to run to it. Your outside foot gets closer to your inside foot and you will push off your inside foot. This will give you an extra boost to get to the ball quicker. When you get to the ball there is something you have to do called adjusting steps. Adjusting steps makes sure you are balanced and you are in position to hit the ball. There are two adjusting steps. Stutter steps (short choppy steps to describe it better) and shuffle steps. You use shuffle steps if you need to move upward or backward on the court. You use stutter steps if you need to move from side to side. Stutter steps are basically you taking a set of little steps to the tennis ball. How many little steps you want to take is entirely up to you. I usually make 3 to 4 little steps when I'm adjusting myself to the ball.

Shuffle steps are when you take jumps from side to side and your feet get really close to each other while jumping. Use shuffle steps when you need to move up or back in the court. When you are recovering, you use shuffle steps to recover from side to side. Adjusting steps are very important for proper movement, so do not forget them. Now, there are times when you do not need to use adjusting steps. For example, when you have to run a lengthy distance, you're probably not going to be thinking about adjusting your steps. You'll just run to the ball to hit the shot. That is why you need to practice these footwork patterns so you can figure out the best time to use them in your game. There is also footwork for recovery.

If your opponent hits a shot out wide, but does not take you off the court, and you do not have a large distance to get back into the court, just simply take a couple of shuffle steps to recover back into the middle of the court. You do not want to run back into the middle of the court because your opponent would just hit behind you. There are times when shuffling back into the court just is not good enough to recover because your opponent hits a ball that takes you way off the court making it difficult to use shuffle steps in enough time to recover. In that case, you have to do something called a karaoke step or crossover step.

To do this move your right foot such that it cross over your left foot or your left foot cross over your right foot. It does not matter which foot you cross over. Do whatever feels comfortable. Make sure you use these steps one or two times and then the rest of your steps should be shuffle steps because you do not want your opponent to hit behind you. There are some advanced concepts in footwork when you are hitting ground strokes as well. When your opponent hits a loopy ball that's really high, there is a forehand footwork move called the scissor kick forehand that is very helpful in returning the shot with good control. This is when you jump up in the air to hit your forehand and your feet cross each other while you are hitting the ball.

This will allow you to get full body rotation into your shots when your opponent hits a high ball. There is also some advanced footwork when hitting overhead shots. This advanced concept is called the scissor kick overhead. While you're jumping in the air to hit the shot, your feet will cross each other. This will allow you to get your whole body to rotate to hit the overhead.

To . Read more To go The Http://www.tennisplayeronline.net .

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Source by Nanthela Brown

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If you're already involved within the battle for supremacy in Warhammer Online, than you must know that the game is focuses especially on PvP and RvR. Regardless of the class you choose to be in this universe, a vengeful Chaos Chosen, a Bright Wizard taming the power of flames or one of the silly goblin Squig Herders, before you can participate to the end game battles, you need to burn down 40 rank levels. This did not work for me as smoothly as I wanted, with my characters, so, to spice up things a little bit, I got my hands on a WAR Leveling Guide.

Using this WAR Leveling Guide I've managed to divide the XP methods in 4 categories. This helped me a lot to understand which one is best for me to follow and how to adapt my character to the game content, in order to be hasty with the XP. I will share below everything about the best ways to level up quickly and how to speed up your leveling.

WAR Leveling Guide – How to Level Fast in Warhammer Online Doing Scenarios

Scenarios are specific instance battlegrounds that anyone can play according to their character tier. Each zone has multiple scenarios and for hasten the leveling applying this method, choose the one with the easiest strategy, like Tor Anroc, located in Saphery. Each scenario has group of repeatable quests which, completed in any battle will add a nice amount of XP. But to be successful in any Scenario and dominate all the battles, a good group is needed. Me and my friends had a setup made of an Engineer with crowd control, 2 Bright Wizards for powerful AoEs and a Warrior Priest to keep our HP up. We were winning all the fights in short time and the XP was OK, but this happened only 1-2 times a week when all of us were able to be on at the same time. Without a good group setup this type of XP is not that fast.

WAR Leveling Guide – How to Level Fast in Warhammer Online Doing Public Quests

Just like in scenarios, completing Public Quests in a worthy manner requires also a good group. But in this case, the key elements in the setup are a tank and a healer. If the group has what it's needed to take on PQs and complete them as fast as possible, the XP will fly and all the members of the party will get good gear and cash as well. But since a group with a good setup does not grow on trees, this might not be the fastest way to hit the level cap.

WAR Leveling Guide – How to Level Fast in Warhammer Online with AoE Skills

This is indeed a quick way to level up, but only if your character has powerful AoE abilities, like a Sorcerer or a Bright Wizard. If AoE is an option, focus on spots with mobs grouped 4-5 and use all your mass abilities to "down" them before they reach you. You need to be very skilled to apply this method, to be able to kill more and die less. Doing this without a stop can be very effective and you get quite a nice amount of XP, plus valuable loot.

WAR Leveling Guide – How to Level Fast in Warhammer Online Doing PVE Quests

This method is the one that I like best. The WAR Leveling Guide I've been talking about is actually centered on this method. To be efficient with the XP by questing, do them in the perfect order to minimize the travel time and grinding and maximize the XP gain. All the quests were put into view in a step-by-step manner and I knew exactly where to go, what to do and how to do it. Being able to complete all the tasks at a fast rate, the XP is always smooth and fast. This method works best for a solo player.

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Source by Phillip O'Riley

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A question is a statement that solicits for a response or answer. On a daily basis, you get to ask to be asked questions. Some questions a open ended requiring explanation, elaboration and so on while other questions are closed requiring just a Yes or a No. In some instances others ask questions that do not necessarily require a response but just for someone to listen to (rhetoric questions). Depending on the structure of the question, the response that follows must address what the question is looking for. Many people fail in exams not because they are dull but because they fail to understand what is being asked of them. Failure to articulate the question correctly leads to incorrect action or response. After a presentation, you must feel good if people do ask you questions. It may be a sign that people were engaged in the presentation and that the presentation generated interest in others. How you answer those questions will enhance your audience's view of you or boost their confidence in your product or services. As a professional you will have to master the art of asking relevant questions but most importantly how to answer questions effectively.

1. Understand the question – Before you plunge into answering a question, make sure you are clear in your mind what the question is about. There is no harm in seeking clarity over what is being asked. Ask politely "I am sorry, I do not seem to understand what you are asking, would you mind rephrasing?" You will communicate better in such an instance than simply blabbing away with no clarity or understanding. Remember that the essence of answering questions is for you to make a positive contribution to the one who is seeking an answer. Do not waste time. Seek understanding first.

2. Listen carefully to the entire question – One way that can enhance your effectiveness in answering a question in a relevant and objective manner is when you allow the person asking the question time to finish asking. Some people take time to specify exactly what they are looking for. Answering a question before it is fully asked may seem disrespectful. Do not assume that you know the direction the question is going hence you want to help the person to get to the point. If you have time, let the person "ramble" while you take note of key points. It also gives you time to synthesize and think of the best answer to the question. The ability to listen gives you a high success rate in your answering of questions.

3. Pause and think carefully – You have to determine if you are qualified to answer the question or someone else is. Are you authorized to speak on that subject (journalists can haunt you even if you are not supposed to be to the company spokesperson)? How deep should the answer be? Pauses and moments of silence show that you are not simply churning out whatever raw material you have in your mind but a clearly thought through answer is coming. You can actually prepare the person expecting an answer by saying "Let me think …, Let me see ..". That way the person does not sit and wait thinking you have not heard, you are simply ignoring etc. Thinking through also helps you to come up with statements that you will not regret about later. You can assess the best way to answer with wisdom without leaving the person with scars or fresh wounds.

4. Answer the question and stop – Having understood what the question means, your role is to answer to the best of your knowledge and stop. The tendency to volunteer information that has not been asked for does not add value to you. If anything you dis-empower yourself. I have come across people who after being asked a simple question like "Where are you going?" they will stop and think you have the whole day to listen to the name dropping, lengthy explanations giving all the background leaving you to just say "Oh really, aha, Oh I see". Get to the point and stop. When you always say mouthfuls of information, lies are inevitable. You can easily begin to confuse yourself or say conflicting statements without noticing it. I have seen people who lose cases in court because they keep saying statements which are then used against them at a later stage of the proceedings.

5. Relax and be confident – It is interesting to note that sometimes the same question can be hard to answer depending on who and what setting the question is being asked. If you are asked on a bus by the person sitting next to you; "Would you mind telling me about yourself", it may be a lot easier to articulate the question than when you have a panel of four or five people in an interview room where you are looking for a job. The same question can bring different answers. In the first setting you can relax and speak about social issues while in the second setting you almost feel that every answer must point to how hardworking you are and all the positive things in life. The important key to the flow of answers and effective answering of a question is to relax and be as natural in your answer as possible. You do not want to seem like you have a rehearsed speech somewhere which you are trying to remember. Relax and let your creativity flow. Breathe normally and be at ease.

6. Master the general nature of questions – The most common questions are centred around What? (Seeks for detail), Where? (Seeks to know the place or location or stage) Why? (Seeks to understand the reasons behind) Who? (Is soliciting for the people involved) When? (Seeks for the date and time it happened) How? (Desires to know the process or step by step breakdown of an event) Whose? (Identifies the owner). Other questions are like statements that solicit for detail. They give you the indication in such statements as Illustrate, explain, clarify, state, describe, investigate, list and so on. Watch out for such words in order to deliver an answer that is relevant to what is being sought.

7. You may not know answers to every question – It is a noble thing to let some questions pass. You are not the encyclopedia of every question that you come across. Admitting that you do not know the answer is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you know yourself and would not want to participate in a guessing game. I have great respect for people who even in interviews will tell you "I am yet to come across that concept but it sounds really exciting" than one who agonizes over the fact that every question has to be answered and still wastes the next five minutes giving a lecture which is innocent of the truth. Sometimes in a group setting, admitting that you do not know the answer to a question will bring you so much wisdom that could be hidden in the person you are sitting next to; the kind of wisdom you can never even find in books.

8. Avoid always answering a question with a question – There are people who will never attempt to respond any other way other than asking a question back. An instance where this is acceptable is in a classroom setup where a student asks a question and the teacher has no clue what the answer is. He / she can creatively ask "Is there anyone who can help with the question?". He is not immediately admitting ignorance to the question but gives the teacher time to synthesize the answer from other participants. I have always been a victim in terms of answering a direct question with a question. What birthed this topic is a question my wife asked me which was simply and to the point "Are you going to the office later on today". My immediate response was not about the office but "Why?". My answer would have been either a "Yes, I am going, is there anything you need, do you want to come along?" instead of an outright "Why" before giving the response. She immediately told me "You better do an article about answering questions.

9. If you are the expert, then show it – Sometimes people ask questions as they know you are the one better placed to know the best solution out. In instances where you know your stuff then provide the rich answer required. Backup your answer with relevant examples, where necessary. Just avoid giving lengthy explanations where a simple answer would have worked. In a Science class, if the students ask you to explain about the process of photosynthesis; you will not answer this in a one line statement but bring in your expertise, go out and get different kinds of leaves to illustrate so that the students get understanding. Similarly, in a boardroom, if you are the head of Operations then it must show. You can not have other people seem to be the experts in your area when you are there. Be the authority in your field.

10. Avoid judging the person asking – It is easy to think that the person who asked a question has no knowledge in a specific area. When you are quick to judge you risk being embarrassed one day. Some people ask questions about areas they have PhDs in. They steer discussions in the direction of their areas of specialization. When a question is asked, avoid attacking the person for asking but stick to the point and answer what is asked. Avoid such statements that sound judgmental. When signs of judgment come into a discussion then this becomes a barrier to effective communication. No one will listen objectively to what you are saying. Say what you know and quote what you have heard others say.

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Source by Rabison Shumba